Top Ten Tips For Winning At Custody

The custody battle is without a doubt the most difficult issue to deal with when parents are involved in divorce. The majority of the time, both parents understandably want custody of their children and are usually willing to do and spend whatever it takes in order to get it and make child custody laws swing in their favour. If you are involved in a custody battle then you should never lose sight of what custody is all about. Whatever is best for the children should always be the number one priority! Now, for winning at custody that means proving that you are the best parent and you and your lifestyle are best suited to taking care of your child(ren). Unfortunately this will often mean proving that that the other parent is not as suitable as you and/or that the other parent is just simply a bad parent.

So Here Are Your Top Tips For Winning At Custody.

Tip 1. If you are not regularly involved in your children's lives, then you won't be granted custody from a judge. If you are a working parent and just let your spouse handle the daily routine of the children then you are quite obviously not prepared to win your custody battle. It is incredibly important that you change your objectives or or your lifestyle. If you truly feel you are the right choice of parent then you must get involved. This means taking part in all aspects of your children's lives. Make sure you are involved in their schooling. Attend those extra curricular activities. Try and be the one that takes them for health checks (doctors, dentist etc.). Also, take the time to know the names of the professionals your children are seeing.

Tip 2. Be sure that your children are not exposed to unsafe or unhealthy environments when they are with you. This may seem obvious but many parents simply don't realise small but important factors like this when it comes to child custody laws. It is very easy for the other parent to use information like this to discredit you. Also, Are you involved in any another relationships? More importantly, has there been more than one? Showing the judge that you are in a stable relationship can be a good thing (as long as it's not too son)but multiple partners will look extremely bad in the eyes of any judge. You see, many judges do not consider it a good thing for children to be subjected to new relationshipstoo early in the process. But of course, the most important thing is that winning at custody should primarily be because you want to spend being a parent, and being committed to; your child(ren). Spending time with someone else when children are the number one priority can be a big losing factor in court.

Tip 3. This one is not quite so obvious and you may need to really think about it. Do you leave negative thoughts with your children regarding the other parent? Many people do this without even realising. Think carefully, and if you do then you must make every effort to stop. Not only will it help you lose but you will hurt the children's relationship with their parent and this is not a good thing which ever way you look at it. Even if you don't love your partner anymore, your children should. A judge will always taje into account whether a parent promotes or prevents access the other.

Tip 4. If your really serious about Winning at custody then it may be a good idea to keep a diary. You should to be able to look back and remember details when the time comes to litigate custody. Look at it from the judges point of view. If you don't know when you had the children, what events you attended, or evenal the times your spouse was not late picking them up or dropping them off, your case will not look so good. You can keep track on your calendar, a journal, or with a good old fashioned diary.

Tip 5. ALWAYS BE ON TIME. If there is one factor that causes more conflict than any other, it is a parent who is consistantly late in picking up or dropping off children. It will anooy the judge, it can create arguments with your ex, and more to the point, it will stress your children. So, ALWAYS BE ON TIME.

Tip 6. Where Possible, try and be flexible. If the other parent needs to switch days, try and manage your time to fit in with that. This way, when the time comes to tell the judge why you should be granted custody, you can tell him or her that you are the parent who makes sure that the schedule works and that you have done everything within your power to keep the childrens lives as stress free as possible.

Tip 7. This is important also, under no circumstances should you involve your children in any issues that are pending in court or with attorneys. Courts are very opposed to children knowing the details of what they consider to be adult issues. As far as the courts are concerned. Children should be told that both parents love them and want to see them, that's it. The children may however see a psychologist and/or an attorney or any other professional if the court directs this. Your children can talk to those people about your case - you should not be providing the details. The reason for this is mainly because seperating parents are naturaly bias and it is not good to influence kids one way or the other.

Tip 8. Winning at custody does require one other extremely important factor: where do the children want to live? Do not try and coach your children on this issue. They will have an opportunity to tell what they want to either the court, their attorney or a psychologist. Having said that, it is still a good idea to know what they want. If they want to live with their other parent, you should really consider the fact that this may be the best place for them and unless you have BIG reasons for believing otherwise (you need to be totally unselfish here), you should not spend all of your time and money pursuing custody,

Tip 9. Bear in mind that when in court, you will need to be prepared to show why your children's other parent should not be granted custody. So, (back to ealier points mentioned) you should keep track of whether that parent is on time, involved, and flexible with the schedule. If that parent has any issues that affect custody, such as a history of mental health issues which may impact his or her ability to care for the children or perhaps even alcohol or drug addictions, you need to let the court know. Other issues that can and will affect you winning at custody, include the number and frequency of romantic relationships and the epxosure of the children to those relationships, the proper supervision of the children, and ensuring that children attend school and see professionals such as a doctor and dentist when necessary.

Tip 10. Hire the best attorney you can and be open and honest with him / her. Listen to their advice, not that of a friend or relative who is sure about what you should do because they had a friend or a relative who got a better deal. You are paying your attorney because they have a great deal of knowledge (and hopefully experience) in these cases, which is why should listen to what he or she has to say.